pura vida

the 4 C's

2008-09-03T09:29:00.001-07:00

heard a great sermon last week on giving up the 4 C's.

CONTROL
COVETING
CRITICIZING
COMPLAINING

Beyond Justice to Mercy

2008-08-18T14:44:00.000-07:00

I know we don't see eye to eye
We've let angry hearts flare and the bitter words fly
The common ground we used to share
Is harder to find but I believe that it's still there.
I don't know if now is the time
To surrender the silence between your heart and mine
But the love that I've chosen cries out to be spoken
Leaving the heartache behind.
We must reach out beyond justice to mercy
Going more than halfway to forgive
And though the distance seems so far
The love that used to hold our hearts
Longs to take us beyond justice to mercy.
It doesn't matter who's to blame
The love that I have for you is still the same
A tender voice is calling me
To that place of compassion where hearts run pure and free
Where the hunger for vengeance gives way to repentance
Where love will teach us to see.
We can reach out beyond justice to mercy
Going more than halfway to forgive
And though the distance seems so far
The love that used to hold our hearts
Longs to take us beyond justice to mercy.
To mercy, to mercy.
(Susan Ashton)

some cool quotes

2008-08-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

*May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.*
*May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.*
*May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
*And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
( Franciscan Prayer)

"Jesus did not come to make us safe but to make us brave"
Gary Haugen(International Justice Mission)

Are you holding back in something? Your playing small does not serve the world. Follow your compass, not your clock"
Bill George (author of"Finding your True North")

"Our faith is not really tested until God asks us to bear what seems unbearable, do what seems unreasonable, and expect what seems impossible."
Warren Wiersbe

freedom from stuff

2008-08-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

i don't know if its because i'm getting older and there is less of life ahead of me, then behind me, but i've been pondering what is really important in my life. somehow the accumulation of 'stuff' doesn't seem so important anymore. i can remember wanting a bigger and better house, better appliances, best floors, faster car, nice clothes, rings and more rings. my goal was to achieve all those things and more. funny, but those things did not really come to pass. some folks seem to have 'stuff' dropped in their laps, others struggle and strain to get it, others never get it.

honestly, 'better stuff' is not that important anymore. we live in a trailer - if you had told me that i would, in my later years, live in a trailer i would have been mortified! and believe me, i've heard all the 'trailer trash' jokes. it needs new floors, the washer and dryer on the way out, the cupboards are outdated. sometimes we wander through the building supply stores and look at the all the 'stuff' we could do to the trailer. i realized this last time, that i would be happy with the cheaper version of whatever we need - it doesn't seem to make sense to buy the best and most expensive anymore. and the bottom line is - i'm happy living in our trailer, i love my garden and my yard. i can't justify spending excessive amounts of money when i know that what i have would be considered a mansion in other countries.

for many years we traveled to a little village in Costa Rica. every time i think i need the best, i think of how the folks there live. little wooden shacks, some even made of black poly - no running water, no electricity, no fridges......need i say more. i can't even imagine what they would think of our homes (including trailers). would they be appalled at our need for bigger and better??? all they want is a decent roof over their head..

my daugher carolyn has an ambitious plan to help build homes in Amparo, Costa Rica. not huge, fancy homes - just a basic concrete block structure with a couple of rooms (one for cooking and living, one for sleeping). its sounds like a crazy idea, but haven't most great things sounded crazy at first? it sounds like an impossible idea, but haven't most great things sounded impossible at first?

i don't know where to go with this - i just know that i need to make some changes and ask God how i can help..... old habits die hard, i know. but hopefully i can learn to make wiser choices if and when making purchases. imagine how many houses the extra money saved could build???

just imagine...

CAROLYN'S BLOG

freedom to worship

2008-07-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

on saturday nite while at church i was fascinated watching two mentally challenged young men during worship. they obviously were not hindered by what others thought. they threw themselves into worship with such joyous abandon that i could not keep my eyes off them. i imagined how God must have smiled when He looked down on two of his precious children just loving Him to pieces. i admit it - i was envious of them. i wanted to have that freedom.

we live in such an uptight society...appearance is everything it seems. how do i look? what do people think of me?

i have at times felt such freedom - particularly in our little church in Costa Rica. they too worship with the same joyous abandon. in Costa Rica it is the norm, it is not unusual. its infectious. the first year there i stood to the side and watched, but it did not take long for me to feel that same freedom to worship. i remember thinking each time i came home: i will worship with this same spirit. it never seemed to work out that way. our society is very different. oh, i know that there are those who do feel the freedom regardless of where they are. but overall i think we are just product of our society - uptight and self-conscious. i'm not sure its a good thing. how i long for a good Costa Rican worship service.... how i long to feel the freedom....

failures

2008-03-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

thankful today for the powerful message and communion service.
and for this thought "our failures do not define our identity."

waiting

2008-03-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

thankful for this word from the Lord:

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

who am i???

2008-03-10T11:44:00.001-07:00

thankful for these thots from Dan Richardson, TXC in Mission:

"are you who you were meant to be? are you actually who you think you are? i'm not sure i know your answer to those questions but i'm certain that we all have struggles with who we REALLY are, not who someone else tells us we are.
When i get to the end of my life, the last thing i want to hear is that i was living a life that i wasn't meant to live...that there was so much more. wouldn't you rather live every second you have to it's fullest potential right now???
The beautiful thing is that we can. We just have to realize where our true identity is found."

thankful that our true identity is found in Jesus.....

thankful for this devotion today

2008-03-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

(Every day with Jesus)

"...being strenghtened with all power...so that you may have great endurance and patience..."
Colossians 1:11

'Today many of you have to go out and contend with fierce antagonism, bitter disappointment, rejection from friends or family, a marriage failure, loss of friendship, a financial reversal, or something similar. But listen carefully to me: YOU WILL GET THROUGH. And the reason you will get through is because God's power is at work in your life.
You may be shaken but you will not be shattered, knocked down by not knocked out. What is more, you will come through the experience with thanksgiving. You will be thankful because through your difficulties you will be brought closer to God Himself.'

new life

2008-03-07T07:16:00.000-08:00

thankful for the new life i saw yesterday - lambs, a foal, crocuses.

friends

2008-03-04T10:34:00.003-08:00

thankful for friends who speak encouragement and positive thots into my life.

zoom zoom

2008-03-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

am thankful that God keeps my 20 year old car ticking along...... relatively worry free.

home is where the heart is....

2008-02-27T10:48:00.000-08:00

thankful for the cosy little home God has provided....

good stuff

2008-02-26T09:36:00.001-08:00

today i am thankfulf for good food, good friends, good conversation.....
thanks ladies.

joy

2008-02-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

thankful for the moments of joy God gives us daily.

new life

2008-02-18T13:46:00.001-08:00

today i am thankful for new growth. i was out in the garden today doing some cleanup; new growth is everywhere; crocus, daffs, tulips are all poking through. it happens every year!!!
new growth emerges from what has withered and died for a season. i am thankful that God is providing new growth in my life, out of what has withered and died for a season. i can feel the buds bursting forth... more sun, more warmth and they will be in full blossom.

laughter

2008-02-15T16:06:00.001-08:00

today i am thankful for laughter - it really is the best medicine....

Mystery

2008-02-13T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today i am thankful that God says: "I will not give you answers, but I will give you something infinitely greater - I will give you MYSELF."

2008-02-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

i'm thankful today that this year wasn't last year. snow for the last two weeks - so i'm snow bound (how would i have gotten all the last minute wedding stuff done????); and i've been sick with the flu for two weeks as well.
God is good. last year the weather was good. we even got outdoor pictures done. and i wasn't sick at all......

peace

2008-02-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

today i am thankful for the peace God gives in the midst of struggles. it really does pass all understanding.

understanding

2008-02-01T17:26:00.001-08:00

today i am thankful for friends who understand what i need to do .....

a God thing

2008-01-31T13:10:00.000-08:00

i am thankful today for a big God who knows how to send encouragement from VERY unexpected sources.
thank you.
i am thankful todayfor a big God who takes the time to provide a clear sign to an heartfelt prayer.
thank you.

shirley

2008-01-30T20:38:00.001-08:00

today i am thankful that my friend Shirley is home with the Father, after years of struggling with her health. i will miss the cranky old girl - she called it like she saw it!!!! carolyn thinks she is probably complaining about the food, i think she is yelling at the band "you SUCK!"
rest in peace now Shirley..... you deserve it.

snow

2008-01-29T19:52:00.001-08:00

i'm thankful for the snow..... it reminds me that i am washed 'whiter than the snow'.

some days

2008-01-28T10:37:00.000-08:00

honestly, its hard to see what to be thankful for. its not that there are not many, many things to be thankful for - its just that somehow we let all the negative crap cloud the positive. and as we focus on the negative, we are robbed of our joy. and here lies the truth - as we keep our focus on Christ, we see the positive and our joy returns. its not always easy to keep the focus where it needs to be, but somehow God gives us a little shove in that direction.....
today i am thankful for a God who keeps shoving me in the right direction!

2008-01-27T07:55:00.001-08:00

i'm thankful for a hot cup of coffee on a wintery day.....

today

2008-01-26T10:24:00.000-08:00

i am thankful for a husband who faithfully goes to work everyday to provide for us - in the driving rain, freezing cold and blowing snow......

thankful today

2008-01-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

for the sunshine and the Sonshine. No matter what is going on around me, my spirits are lifted and filled with joy today.

starting over

2008-01-24T09:35:00.001-08:00

this blog will hopefully be devoted to thankfulness. at our bible study we have been studying "joy". our first lesson focused on having a thankful heart, which in turn leads to joy. we each made a commitment to do something to express our thankfulness to God. i had intended to do a thankfulness journal, but have now decided to do a thankfulness blog.

I'm leaking all over

2007-12-13T12:53:00.000-08:00

there is line in "The Grinch" when his heart grows bigger and he is finally able to feel. as he wipes his eyes, he says "i'm leaking all over".
what is with Christmas and all the 'leaking'?? i was at a women's brunch yesterday with my friend. one of the features was a harpist playing beautiful christmas music while we all sat quietly in thought. as i looked around the room i wondered what thoughts were running through each of the women's minds. most of the women were older, elderly. each was lost somewhere in thought. some had smiles on their faces, some looked very sad. i wondered if they were remembering christmas' past - of houses full of happy children, of a simpler christmas season, baking, preparing, enjoying family and friends. i wondered if even though their bodies were frail, they still felt young in their mind. i wondered if they were alone now. i wondered if they thought about the past and reflected on their 'failures', on how they could have been a better daughter, mother, wife, friend. i wondered if they missed the christmas' of old, and if they only have the memories now. i thought about how we, as women, keep all these things somewhere deep in our hearts. my heart ached for them. i wanted to tell them that they still have value. there is always hope.
today as i was preparing dinner for friends, and the christmas music was playing i had a little meltdown. memories of christmas' past flooded in at an overwhelming pace. thoughts of 'i should have', 'i could have been a better daughter, mother, wife, friend' threatened to overpower me. it prompted me to reach out to a friend and ask for prayer. it reminded me of yesterday, and the women i felt for. it brought me to the foot of the cross again. i was reminded to leave my burdens there.
i was reminded that there is always hope for those who love Jesus, no matter how old in years we are. what is past is past, it is what it is. i realized that our God is a great God, and that He is able to redeem all the 'should have' 'could haves'. i began to feel His lavish love for me as He spoke into my heart to let me know that i still have value, that He still has plans for me, that there is always hope - and hope does not disappoint.

What God wants for Christmas.....

2007-12-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

i was pondering this thought this morning - I wonder what God would want for Christmas? Maybe this???

1. for all His children who have walked away from Him and from their faith to come back home for Christmas

2. for His family to stop bickering and play nice

3. for His children to quit being so self focused and self centered and start thinking more about others

4. for His children to stop whining about how hard their life is and realize the many blessings He has given them

5. for His children to stop living as victims and start living like victors

6. for His children to start realizing their value and start living up their potential

7. for His children to grab onto all the resources He has given them to live a life of big dreams and adventure

did i miss anything?????

can i get a little respect please?

2007-12-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

we all want to be respected, valued, loved. its easy (usually) to respect, value and love people who are like us - you know - middle class, working, church going, clean folk! but how respectful are we of those, who for whatever reason, find themselves on the street, poor, homeless, dirty. oh we can feel sorry for 'them', ease our guilt over our excess by handing out free stuff to 'them'. but do we really show respect, value and love? the fact that we use 'us' and 'them' is disrespectful in itself. we throw around derogatory terms to classify 'them' - street people, prostitutes, drug addicts, (fill in your own word).
yes, we can help out with physical needs but until we can show genuine respect and love we are really very ineffective. until there is no line between 'us' and 'them', but there is only 'we', can the real work begin. for ourselves also. 'we' have a lot to learn from 'them'. spend time downtown, at UGM, wherever and you will discover this.
Christ didn't care about social standing, money or religion. He did care deeply for those on the fringes, outcasts if you will. he showed them real respect, real value, real love.
i wonder how comfortable some of 'those' folks would feel walking into our churches. would they feel the 'us' and 'them' mentality? would the prostitute feel welcome and loved? or would she feel singled out? would the drug addict feel respected and valued? would the homeless feel they belonged? or would they sense the great divide... sympathy but not value.
i hope not.
this Christmas season, if you are helping out in any way remember that showing respect goes a long way....

Isn't it strange.....

2007-12-05T09:12:00.000-08:00

(a little something i got on the email today - minus the pictures and sound)
Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church , but such a small amount when you go shopping?

Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying but...
you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible but
how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel or ZANE GREY book?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games but
they do whatever is possible to sit at the last row in Church?

Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can include it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events in the last minute?

Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God to share it with others; but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?

Isn't it strange how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say but .
we question the words in the Bible?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven but... they don't want to believe, do, or say anything to get there?

Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away but
when we are going to send messages about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?

struggling to surrender

2007-11-16T07:17:00.000-08:00

(from todays devotion by Selwyn Hughes)

We say to Christ, albeit unconsciously, 'I will let You have certain areas of my life - just enough to enable me to still have some feeling of independence. But don't ask me to experience the terrible feeling of complete and utter helplessness.'
That, however, is precisely what God does ask of those who say they want to be committed to Him. He wants us to be willing to trust Him enough to experience that feeling of hopelessness, and abandon ourselves completely to Him. A life of true peace involves total surrrender to Jesus, and the willingness to cease living as a self-centered person and to live instead as a Christ-centered one.
Who doesn't struggle with this issue? Who doesn't prefer to hold on to the visible securities of life even when they are falling apart? We fear that having Jesus Christ we will have nothing besides.
What fools we are not to believe that He is enough.

2007-11-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

The one who says it can't be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

pondering thot

2007-10-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

been pondering this thot today:
i wonder how our lives would be different if we spent as much time listening to what God has to say to us (through His Word and prayer) as we do listening to what Dr. Phil and Oprah say.

yippee its back!!

2007-10-29T16:41:00.000-07:00

hope it still is tomorrow when i have time to blog.

this has been giving me a lot to chew on this week

2007-10-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

AWARENESS OF GOD. Mature persons stand in awe before God as creatures and are aware of their Creator. Mature persons express awareness of their dependence upon the Creator, but also recognize their capabilities. Mature persons show humility in the face of life's besetting problems and have a realistic awareness of their own creaturely limitations but do not deny their own capacity for productive action. Mature persons worship God as an expression of reverence and of love toward God. Mature persons pray as a means of spiritual sustenance and communion with God and as a way of honestly expressing concerns.

ACCEPTANCE OF GOD'S GRACE AND STEADFAST LOVE. Mature persons view God as loving them unconditionally. Mature persons use God's love and forgiveness as an impetus for new life and responsible action. Mature persons appreciate God's love and manifest this through a sense of joy and gratitude. Mature persons have the ability to find meaning in the suffering and difficulties of life. This meaning is based on trust in God and His goodness.

BEING REPENTANT AND RESPONSIBLE. Mature persons accurately accept personal responsibility without denying other factors, such as the environment, in personal difficulties and in sin. Mature persons' attitudes toward repentance are based on constructive sorrow which leads to a concern to correct the situation. Mature persons are aware of their inner impulses and accept them as a legitimate part of their humanness. Mature persons are able to request and to accept forgiveness from others without feeling threatened or self-depreciating. Mature persons are forgiving of others without experiencing continued resentment toward them.

KNOWING GOD'S LEADERSHIP AND DIRECTION. Mature persons express trust in God's leadership for life yet also recognize their role in that process. Mature persons express an optimistic, yet realistic, hope based on trust in God. Without denying present problems, mature persons are confident that God is in control of life. Mature persons have a positive sense of role identity that provides meaning in relation to faith.

INVOLVEMENT IN ORGANIZED RELIGION. Mature persons experience regular weekly involvement with others in religious worship, prayer, study, and service. Mature persons evidence active involvement and commitment to religious activities. Mature persons are involved in church or in a religious group as an index of their desire to grow in their faith.

EXPERIENCING FELLOWSHIP. Mature persons experience relationships at various levels of intimacy including interdependent, growth-oriented relationships with other believers. Mature persons identify positively with the family of God and have a sense of community with other believing persons as well as with people everywhere. Mature persons have a sense of commonality with all of God's creatures and with God's creation.

BEING ETHICAL. Mature persons follow their ethical principles in a flexible but committed manner. Mature persons' religious faith strongly underlies and guides their ethical behavior. Mature persons show a concern for personal and social ethics. Their acts evidence that they have a concern for both and are concerned about individual responsibility and social justice. Mature persons have a sense that they are serving others through their work or vocation.

AFFIRMING OPENNESS IN FAITH. Mature persons' faith provides a directive for life as a whole. Mature persons spend a significant time reading about their faith and discussing it with others as an expression of a desire to grow in faith. While expressing confidence in their own view, mature persons show a tolerance for other viewpoints and evidence a willingness to examine others' beliefs in an honest manner. Mature persons' faith is differentiated and is composed of a relatively large number of categories and elements.

"she doesn't seem to talk much"

2007-10-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

yes, its true - i am not much of a talker. although there are some who are close to me who would disagree with that! i would say i am more of a listener, a watcher. i find it amusing that folks often think there is something wrong with me because i prefer to listen rather than talk. or they think of not talking as somewhat negative. i have to admit that for years and years it did bother me that i was like this. i noticed the talkers were usually very popular, the life of the party, the center of attention, most likely to get the most dates, the best jobs... usually, and i am making general statements here, they are extroverted. i longed to be that way when i was growing up. it bothered me for years and i tried to 'fake it', but reality is, i am a listener- an introvert. and i am good with that - finally! i make no apologies for how God wired me up. He made me this way on purpose, for a reason.

most of us wish that we had different personality traits than we have. imagine if you were picking your personality traits - how different would they be from how you are now? hmm...that's a thought to ponder for a few days.

i have learned we never truly have peace with ourselves until we accept who we are in Christ, that we can never really be free until we find that freedom in Him.

this is who i am - you don't have to like me or accept this way - but this is how the Creator made me. and i'm in no position to argue with the God of the Universe or question why.

thankfully God did not make us all identical - can you imagine if we were all 'listeners' or all 'talkers'! God has wired us up in way that is special to us.

Its good to finally be able to relax and 'be' who God made me to be.

Everything

2007-10-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

(Tim Hughes)

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything Be my everything Be my everything Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me Christ in me Christ in me the hope of glory You are everything
Christ in me Christ in me Christ in me the hope of glory Be my everything

"feed my sheep"

2007-10-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

there seems to be a disturbing trend in pastoring in many denominations and churches. it would appear that pastors are expected to be more of a CEO of the church, than a pastor to folks in a congregation. results are becoming more important than relationships; programs more important than people. success is measured by what is accomplished - new initiatives, numbers, finances. sadly, it seems many going into ministry are not prepared for this type of pastoring - i know i wasn't and i know i'm not alone. even more unsettling is that those who are not CEO material are often bypassed, or become so disallusioned they leave 'formal' ministry all together.

i'm not saying that pastors don't need to know how to 'manage' their church. i'm saying that when it becomes more important to build a successful church in a secular context there is something wrong. by measuring a pastor's performance based solely on programs and results we do a disservice to the role of pastor.

continued later......

so how's it going????

2007-09-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

a question i get asked a lot lately. its been almost 4 months since i officially 'retired' from pastoring. funny thing though - i have probably had more time and opportunity to really minister to folks than before. its wonderful to be able to be in ministry 'out of the line of fire.' to have the freedom to follow God's leading, not man's. to discover what God's expectations are and not stress over meeting someone else's expectations for you. i have been discovering what my gifts really are, and how God can use them. i remember when i first became a pastor - a long time ago - it was such a joy to serve, it was exciting, it was challenging. but honestly, the last few years it has not been that way at all. it has been a struggle; not able to meet the expectations of others, not being in my area of giftedness, dealing with a lot of personal attacks from church people, the list goes on.... there no longer was joy, it was tiring, it was draining, it was hurtful. i really needed this extended Sabbath rest. over the summer, i read lots, thought lots, prayed lots.
i feel rejuevenated, energized and excited about serving - plain and simple.
God is good and i thank Him for 'restoring my soul' over the last few months.

the other side - the Furness'

2007-09-18T11:10:00.001-07:00

my mom had a very different upbringing from my dad. The Furness' were well known in the city they lived, had been there for many, many years. They lived in one of the stately older houses in New Westminster. They were active in all the right social circles. Mom and her siblings were in all the socially accepted activities: church, vocal, dance, violin etc.

i remember my grandparents home very well. it was beautiful. everything matched. the living room was only for company, and if we were in there we had to behave like little ladies. we ate in the dining room on good china with the good silver. grandma was always redecorating her house, new paint, new upholstery. girls - this is where we get it from! I remember cuddling up to my grandma's fur coat in church on Sundays. i learned to sit still and not wiggle for long periods of time. i learned manners.

grandpa's garden was to die for. he spent hours out there. it was perfectly manicured. when my mom got married, the reception was at the house. the next day, my grandpa was outside vacuuming up the confetti from the lawn! i loved watching him garden as i grew up. grandpa had a great sense of humor - you know the dry, British kind. you never really knew if he was teasing or not. he worked as an accoutant for the same company until the day he retired.
when he did retire, they went on a nine month world cruise. grandpa wouldn't fly so they went by boat and train around the world. grandma only traveled first class. i remember that year getting cards from exotic places and every few weeks a package would arrive in the mail with trinkets from a far off country. i learned to yearn for far off places.

summer holidays with grandma and grandpa usually involved spending a few weeks at their summer home in White Rock. or traveling by ferry to Victoria and staying at the Empress Hotel. did i mention grandma only did first class!

from the Furness' i learned to be comfortable in any social setting, to be able to make small talk, to be polite and well mannered. i learned to love gardening, decorating my home and entertaining. i learned to love getting dressed up- to be a lady. i learned to appreciate the arts: music, literature, theater, art. and i learned to be passionate about other countries and cultures - to see a world beyond my own backyard.
i learned to drink tea from china cups....

a thot to ponder....

2007-09-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

The highest form of worship is the worship of unselfish Christian service.
Billy Graham

ok, that didn't help.....

2007-09-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

so its my birthday today - which i would like to forget. my mom called to wish me a happy birthday, and she asks: how old are you again? i tell her. she says: no, you can't be that old.
uh, yeah mom. you're going to be 80 next month.

the best of both.... The Phillips

2007-09-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

i've had a few comments from folks saying they didn't know i liked camping/fishing/the outdoors. somehow they couldn't see me doing those things. i found that surprising.

i grew up with two vastly different ways of life - which i suppose explains why i am comfortable in the outdoors and in social settings.

my dad's parents were not rich. grandpa was a cowboy in his younger days. he worked on a ranch in Alberta and when the RCMP at Fort McLeod had a horse that couldn't be broken they would send for Grandpa. He once rode his horse, Scarface, from Alberta through the Rockies looking for a stray herd of cattle. He found them somewhere around Cranbrook, wintered over with them there and then herded them back in the Spring. He loved the outdoors - fishing, hunting. Even in his 70's he was going on hunting trips as the cook/guide. Grandpa taught his three granddaughters to fish. Family vacations with grandpa and grandma were spent either camping or staying at fishing resorts in the interior. Grandpa was tough and resourceful - a never say never, never say it can't be done kind of guy - very independent.

I wish I could remember my grandma better. She passed away when I was 16. I remember their home was simple and warm. Grandma spoiled us, we never had to eat our vegetables and we could lay all over the furniture and bounce around. She was generous to a fault, sweet and kind. She was often ill and I don't have many clear memories anymore of her. I do remember she always stood up for us when Dad tried to make us behave at her house. He eventually just gave up - it was her home and her grandkids could do what they wanted!

From the Phillips' I learned to love the outdoors, camping, horses, adventure. I learned to be resourceful, making the most of what I have. I learned that more is not always better. I learned to make any place homey. I learned perseverance. I learned to be ok with being dirty and not having a shower for 7 days! And I learned to drink 'cowboy coffee' from a mug.

aahhh.... September

2007-08-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

my favourite time of year. i love the fall. cool mornings, warm days. back to a routine after summer. i love summer too - i eventually get tired of the routine and long to be carefree for a while. must be the 'hippy' in me. did i mention that when i was a kid i wanted to be a gypsy? every halloween i would dress up as one. i was really ticked that my parents didn't name me Susanna.
anyway, back to what i was talking about. this year i'm not too sure what that routine looks like. i don't have kids going back to school, i don't have a paying job even. its easy to keep myself busy during the summer, spending days outside in my garden. but those long rainy days of winter, that's going to be another challenge.
i have revisited some hobbies long since forgotten. i had this unexpected urge to buy a sewing machine and start sewing again (that was quickly squashed, for now).
i have my small group on Tuesdays and possibly one other starting soon. there are dreams of visiting Costa Rica again in Spring, and doing a women's event in February. i'm a planner/organizer - that gives me great joy and energizes me. i enjoy writing in a love/hate kind of way. i enjoy speaking in the same sort of way....
as September creeps closer it does so with anticipation of what God has in store for me (and us).
but for now, i still have some gardening to do...

summer adventures

2007-08-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

yup, it has been busy. my last day of work (officially) was May 31st. i have no idea why, but i have been busier than ever!!! quite a few weddings to officiate at and attend. terry and i took advantage of the fact that i no longer had to work on weekends to do some exploring in our beautful province. spent a weekend in lillooet, a weekend in vernon, many days finding new lakes to fish. spent a long weekend at Johnson Lake with the whole family, then went back the next week for 7 days to camp at the far end of Johnson Lake. all in all, it has been an eventful, and long summer break. the 7 day camping trip (with no showers!) was quite the experience for me. it was beautiful and hot during the days and COLD at night.... i wasn't quite prepared for that. hooked on to two trout, but couldn't land them ( i still have lots to learn about setting the hook and reeling them in). i learned about leech patterns, wooley buggers and cronimids.
learned how to drive the truck - that was fun. we rented a boat from the resort and had to pick it up at 8am one morning. we got up, drove to the resort (15 min. down the logging road), terry was to bring the boat back, on the lake, to the campsite and i was to drive the truck back. sounds simple enough, but i've never driven such a big truck and its a standard to boot. anyway, i headed out ok. thot i remembered the turn off to get to the campsite, but i wasn't really sure so i kept going; realized the terrain did not look right so decided to back up. HA! couldn't get it in reverse. now i'm panicky - so i keep driving down this very unfamiliar and narrow logging road hoping for a place to turn around cuz i can't get into reverse. 15 minutes down the road, find a wide spot and turn around. head back to the turn off to the campsite, but the corner is too sharp and i can't back up. so keep driving back towards the resort looking for another wide spot. finally, turn around and get to campsite. the 15 minute trip back takes 40 minutes. AND I HAVEN"T EVEN HAD COFFEE YET!!!! anyway, we had a wonderful time - and i sure appreciated a hot bath, a razor and our own bed....

is it over......

2007-08-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

what a busy summer!!! too many weddings. just got home from one fishing trip to Johnson Lake with the whole family, attended yet another wedding, leaving tomorrow for a week in the bush somewhere. tenting it, no hot showers, outhouses (maybe!) - could be just a bush. got my needlework, a good book and my fishing rod. be back on the 20th.....

2007-07-09T17:52:00.001-07:00

i'm loving how time and distance give a much clearer perspective on the events of the last few years.
for the first time in many years - i am joyful, content, loving how God is using me, feeling fulfilled and enjoying the many opportunites to use my gifts for His glory.
this is a good thing.
more thots coming...

busy, busy, busy

2007-06-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

i've been unemployed for three weeks now and i'm busier than ever..... was hoping for a few stay at home days to putter around, but its not been happening. that's ok - i like being busy.
right now i'm up to 'here' in weddings that i am either organizing, officiating or attending. Mike and Cathey's on July 7th, my nephew's on July 14th, Terry's brother's on August 11 and Liz and Morgan sometime in November. i have file folders made, notes, checklists. I LOVE IT!!! weddings are my favourite events and i love all the planning and prep....
maybe my new job should be a wedding coordinator/officiant type person.

this is definitely a wierd experience

2007-06-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

been watching the news since last nite constantly, checking the river gauge on the internet about every hour, watching farmers moving livestock and not to mention the choppers (i've seen three different ones) flying back and forth over the island here - up and down the slough. its just watch and wait for the next few days. ready in case of evacuation.

To God be the Glory, great things He has done.

2007-05-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

(a message given to my church on my last Sunday)
It began with a dream
New Heights began with a dream. A dream to create a community for real people who needed to know how much they mattered to God. A dream to create an experience for people who had little or no religious background. A dream to bring the most exciting message in the world to a generation that has largely given up on the church.
It began with a dream.
It is our passionate hope that you will feel this can be a dream you could follow too. We believe God has made each one for a reason, on purpose ... for a mission.
Welcome to the adventure. May you truly climb to new heights!
NH was built on this dream. A dream that a handful of folks shared 11 years ago. One Sunday in March it set sailed.
Our second Sunday in, a retired pastor told us it wouldn't survive year. The structure was all wrong.
Turns out he was wrong. What he didn't understand was that when God builds something – its built to last.
We hit a couple of rough storms over the years, storms that could have easily sunk the ship.
But we didn't sink.
Why, because we knew that God was our captain, and that He was in control of the ship – He guided us through the storms to safe harbor.
Several years in, someone asked: so when are we going to be a real church
A real church????
what does that mean exactly?
I pondered this question all week.
You see, when we built this ship, We knew that it wouldn't be pretty. It was intentional that it be real and raw. That people came before programs.
It was about community.
There is a difference between 'doing' church and 'being' church. We never wanted to do church. Its easy to do church. Put a structure together, have a ton of programs, build a bigger building, measure success on numbers attending and how much is in the offering. Polished, well run, phony.
But 'being' the church is much harder. Being the church involves getting your hands dirty. Its about relationships, not results. It means getting involved in the lives of others, laughing with them in good times and crying with them in hard times. Sharing our faith in God with others.
It means facing the real, raw stuff that happens in real life.
Real life is hard, its messy. Its where we all live. Its uncomfortable. Its ugly.
It doesn't fit into neat little packages. Its not always black and white. There are gray areas. Its real and raw.
We didn't always get it right. We screwed up many times. But we keep sailing; living, learning, forgiving, moving onward.
Over the years we have been criticized and mocked, but still the ship is afloat. To this day we still have folks who accuse us of 'cheap grace'. People who take pot shots at us consistently, trying to put a hole in the hull. It doesn't work – inspite of our 'realness' God has built a strong ship.
I have had the privilege of co-piloting this ship for many years. Its time now to step aside. Perhaps I'm a little sea sick! I need some shore leave.
I still believe in the dream God gave us 11 years ago.
I want to leave you all with a challenge for the next leg of your journey.
Don't lose sight of the dream. It is a good dream. A God given dream.
That being said, don't be afraid to dream more dreams. To let God show you big dreams for the next 11 years.
Don't lose your heart. Put people before programs. Relationships before results.
Always remember the shipwrecked. The folks who for whatever reason are
damaged, alone, wounded, hurt. Set sail, and be intentional about looking for those folks. Bring them on board. Care for them. Restore them to health. Don't set your course for calm waters, picking up the wounded along the way. Rather set your course straight into the storms of life with the intention of seeking out the shipwrecked.
Get dirty. Reach out. Get involved. Be passionate.
Re-evaluate what the priorities are in your life. Its not about bigger cars, bigger houses, bigger vacations, being comfortable in the church pews on Sunday.
Take a risk for God.
Don't settle for doing church. Be the church.
This ship is still afloat because God wants it afloat. He built it, His Hands are on the wheel. He knows where its headed. There will no doubt be more rough seas ahead, but God will not let the ship go down.
It is strong because of Him. It is here because He wants it here. Nothing can sink it if you allow Him to captain the ship.

brook besor

2007-05-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

there is a cool story in the OT about David and his army. it seems that a bunch of them (well, hundreds actually) went to do deal with the bad guys (amalekites) who had stolen their wives and kids. but a couple hundred of the men had had enough. they were tired. they needed rest. they needed refreshment. so they decided to stay behind at brook besor while the others went to fight.
anyway, the other men and the wives, whom they were rescuing, were none too happy about this. they called them all kinds of names (well, i'm assuming they did cuz they were ticked!). but David did a very noble thing here - rather than ridicule them, or judge them for staying behind - he tells everyone that they stayed behind to protect the supplies. he stands up for them and they get to keep their honor. the fact is: they just simply could not go on, they needed to stop and rest and heal.
sometimes you get hit with so many bullets that you need to step away from the front lines for a time - to rest, to heal your wounds, to gather strength for future duty. it doesn't mean you have given up, or you are abandoning your cause. it simply means you cannot go on right now, you need to stop and rest and heal. Brook Besor..... the resting place, the healing place.

robot christians

2007-05-15T16:07:00.000-07:00

i was listening to the local 'christian' radio station the other day ( i don't very often, but that is another blog...). there was advertisement for a christian 'boot camp' kind of thing to train people on how to share their faith. i have to admit i had a not so reverent vision of a bunch of robotic christian soldiers graduating from this 'boot camp' - armed and equiped to blast their world with 'christianity'. 'sir, yes sir' - rattling off the four spiritual laws on unsuspecting heathens. cold, emotionless faces quoting scripture - word for word, verse and chapter. it would be a pretty funny sight, if there wasn't some truth to it. its sad actually, and kind of scary. and i'm not sure how effective it really is.
it seems to me that best way to share your faith is to live it. talk is cheap. actions speak louder than words. show me by your life that you are a Christian, don't talk at me.

they laughed at Noah too.....

2007-05-09T13:48:00.000-07:00

yup - i'm packing and moving stuff. got my 72 hours emergency box by the door. got my grab and go bag if we are evacuated.

i once was lost, but now i'm found

2007-05-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

seems some guy in maple ridge found the missing daytimer on the side of the highway!!! on my way to pick it up...

its over

2007-05-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

i lost my daytimer. i have had it for 20 years and i have NEVER lost it - even for 5 minutes. its been missing since wednesday. i searched the house top to bottom and its just gone.
i'm thinking maybe God is telling me that now is the time to stop living by the daytimer; to live free and easy and available to do what He wants, when He wants. hmmm... kind sounds like an adventure. isn't that what we wanted? an adventure? it certainly will be an adventure considering how poor my memory is getting. i'll apologise now if i forget something important.
oh yeah, my marriage license was in there. have to order a new one.
sheesh......

am i my brother's keeper???

2007-05-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

the threat of a flood is very real out here on the rez. its interesting the reactions we get from folks. some say to us: don't be silly, there won't be a flood. this is usually, not always, but usually from folks who live on higher ground. then my friend heard a comment last week from woman who was responding to a concern that we folks out here would lose all our stuff because insurance doesn't cover floods. her response: well, its their own fault then for living out there. and still others say to us: well, its only stuff....
the trailer park we live in has a very diverse demographic. we have young families who, because the housing market in town is so outrageous, can only afford to buy a trailer in order to own a home. they don't have a hope of buying a house in Mission. this was their only option. we also have some elderly folks who are on their own. if either one of these groups were to lose their 'stuff' they would hardpressed to replace it. it would be just too expensive.
so, there is a sense of urgency to be prepared and start moving our 'stuff' out.
we are grateful for the handful of people who have offered their services to us. i am especially concerned for the elderly who aren't able to get packed up or don't have a place to go.
of course, we all pray that we are not flooded out. but in the meantime we are doing our best to get everyone taken care of.

under construction

2007-05-01T17:04:00.000-07:00

be patient. haven't got my list of blogs i read up yet....

wedding pictures are posted

2007-04-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

www.ttphotography.com

on the top of the page go to 'proofing'

username: SusanTerry
Password: Kirchmayer

should we stay or should we go

2007-04-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

got a notice today from the owners of the trailer park outlining evacuation procedures if it floods out here. they are recommending removing valuables now to safer places and having stuff packed and ready to go if and when the evacuate the park. seems they will shut off all the services and we have to be ready to leave.
so, i am packing up the trailer (a good portion of it) and moving it back to where it came from (liz's house now). i figure if i start now i should have most of it moved before the flood. not worrying about the furniture - just clothes, books, keepsakes, china etc. pretty much the whole house......

looking for my 'happy thought'

2007-04-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

Hold fast to dreams,
for if dreams die,
life is a broken-winged bird
that cannot fly.
(langston hughes)

tinkerbell to peter pan in Hook: Peter, have you forgotten how to fly?

haven't blogged in awhile

2007-04-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

there is a lot going on here. i'm winding down my responsibilities at NH - my last day is the end of May. lots of emotion... its very bittersweet.
we are asking God to show us what His plan is for the two of us, as a couple. there are some interesting adventures ahead - but for the most part, God is very silent right now. this is a time to rest in Him, to wait on Him for His timing is perfect.
we are enjoying living together and learning together.
God is faithful....

what's in your freezer????

2007-03-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

does anyone else have a frozen tube of Aquaseal - urethane repair adhesive in their freezer?
i found it under the frozen peas...... it has something to do with fishing stuff i think.

2007-03-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

so we are getting used to living with each other - all the quirks, likes, dislikes, sleeping patterns.
the bush dogs have settled down. i'm actually enjoying having a nice dinner ready for Terry when he gets home tired from work. and i even like getting stuff ready for his lunches and doing his laundry. yes, i am susy homemaker. someone asked if my new role was going to be a wife - although not a desparate one i hope! i've been thinking about that. and i realized it is a pleasure to be able to 'serve' my husband - note: serve, not be subserviant - there is a difference.
so before you all gag - we have only been married just over a month...

words of encouragement

2007-03-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

sent this week from two very special friends. let them encourage your hearts as well.

"Its not what you do, its how much love you put into the doing" Mother Teresa

"See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wilderness." Isaiah 43:19

surrendering it all

2007-03-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have and ever hope to be

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands

For its only in Your will that I am free

(Robin Mark, Revival in Belfast)

even henry the cat has issues

2007-03-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

the other morning he jumped on terry's face to wake him up....
but i think we are making progress. last night the whole family cuddled up in bed (me, terry, sparky, soda and henry) to watch CSI. there was no peeing, growling, staring, jumping - (wow, i'm walking into that one aren't i?)

i sure hope this trailer floats......

2007-03-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

one month today

2007-03-10T09:08:00.000-08:00

my 6 year old grandson, when asked if he had fun at the wedding, said "it was the best night of my entire life".
yup, i agree.

the other dog may have some issues too...

2007-03-09T15:28:00.000-08:00

sparky, the other foo foo dog, may have a few issues with Terry living here. the other day sparky walked up to his briefcase and was going to pee on it - Terry says "don't you pee on my briefcase, sparky". sparky looked at him in disgust, walked over to where Terry was standing - lifted his leg, and peed on his foot!
welcome to the family....

unforgettable....

2007-03-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

this picture was taken at the ceremony rehearsal. i call it 'the wedding command post' - jen, pastor greg, peter. laptops, disks, notes - coordinating the ceremony with each other. thanks to these three extremely talented people the ceremony went off without a hitch and i enjoyed every minute of it.

but i'm getting a lot of questions of what 'wedding' disasters happened on February 10th. it seems most people have horror stories to tell of some mishap that occured.
i would say the day was perfect. but for those who really want to know the scoop - here it is: Moores sent the wrong shirt for one of the groomsmen and it was too late to exchange it (they offered to send the right one in a different color!!); the wedding cake was slightly leaning; the hotel ran out of punch; and the DJ (who said 'it must be perfect') didn't play all the music i wanted.
but other than that - it was an amazing day. the grandkids all performed well; no one fainted (except for my slight, ok huge, panic attack before the ceremony! my daughters were extremely helpful, saying things like 'get a grip', 'suck it up princess', 'no, you don't have to pee you just think you do' - this comment because they didn't want to take me to the bathroom, the dress was so big it took several of them to hold it up so i could pee!
i calmed down when carolyn peeked into the ceremony and saw Terry walk in. her comment - "wow, Terry looks hot!" - i was good to go after that.

secret to a long marriage

2007-03-05T11:52:00.000-08:00

(received this from a friend)
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions." The minister inquired trips to where? "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China." The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands Ralph, please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?" Brother Ralph: "I'm going to go and get her."

yes, there are some adjustments

2007-03-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

i have lived alone for almost 7 years; terry 3 years. you kind of get set in your ways. so we have had to make some adjustments. the dogs have too. soda always sleeps on my bed. the first night we were back from our honeymoon, both she and sparky kept looking at terry wondering when he was going home (which has been a normal routine for a couple of years). well, he didn't 'go home', instead he crawled into bed. poor soda - she was laying beside me in the bed, then she kind of walked over me and stared into terry's face as if to say "why are you in this bed?"
yup, adjustments to be made all around.

no TV nights

2007-02-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

so we are settling into married life. last nite at dinner we talked about how we could keep our marriage from becoming routine. we decided to have 'no TV' nights regularly. last nite, instead of sitting in front of the boob tube, we talked about our dreams and hope for the future and then spent some time in prayer together - for others and for ourselves. we had a wonderful evening together...

rice krispee squares

2007-02-26T14:33:00.001-08:00

does anyone know how to make them??? my husband (giggle) likes them in his lunch and i haven't made them in years.....

its a boy

2007-02-24T18:50:00.000-08:00

those of you at the wedding might remember the very pregnant photographer doing our wedding pictures that day. Poor Taneane (Taneane Twele Photography) spent the whole day ( about 9 hours) photographing the getting ready, the ceremony, the formal shots, and the reception. While at the park doing some photos of Terry and I, she insisted on standing on a whobbly step stool to get some good shots!! I was sure she would fall off. Then she would crouch down to take pictures and couldn't get back up again. We thought she would go into labour that night.
but, she waited two weeks. and this morning at 10am, she gave birth to a baby boy - her first child. congratulations steve and taneane. of course this is after she caused a 'scene' at carolyn's girls nite last nite. they were all watching a movie and her water broke.....

oh

2007-02-23T15:51:00.000-08:00

i have to cook dinner every night??? toast and cereal is not a real dinner????

some pictures

2007-02-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

well....

2007-02-21T13:12:00.000-08:00

once i make some sense of the mess around here, i will get back at blogging.
we had a wonderful, relaxing honeymoon. rented a beautiful log cabin in ucluelet on the west coast of vancouver island - complete with bedroom loft, fireplace and hot tub. no cell phones (well, we did text message home a couple of times), and no internet. spent many hours walking the shore line and 'storm watching'. leisurely cooked meals together. generally just spent time getting used to living with each other.
we are home now, and i am spending today cleaning and sorting and organizing. terry is at work.
i'll post some pictures later....

we're home....

2007-02-20T19:32:00.001-08:00

...more tomorrow..

let's party

2007-02-10T06:31:00.000-08:00

i thought i might have some deep, ponderous thoughts this morning - but i don't.....
so let's party!!!

so, whatca all doin????

2007-02-09T19:35:00.001-08:00

i guess i should try on my wedding shoes that i just picked up yesterday!

2007-02-09T18:14:00.001-08:00

so how is your day going?????

2007-02-09T16:55:00.000-08:00

i have a huge, deep, ugly cut on the finger next to my ring finger. good thing they can photoshop stuff out.
went for a massage. i don't think you are suppose to spend the hour thinking about what you have to do after the massage and wishing she would hurry up so you could get stuff done.......

HMMMM......

2007-02-09T12:12:00.001-08:00

i let it go....

2007-02-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

the rehearsal is done. i left all the details in the hands of the professionals - jen, greg and peter.
today is just finishing up favors, taking stuff to the hotel, checking on the flowers, moving a bit more of terry's stuff and then a massage....... and early to bed.

hmmm... didn't count on this

2007-02-08T21:47:00.000-08:00

that the few days before the wedding would be so chaotic and busy - and i'm super organized!!!
really need some "me" time before Saturday.

thanks

2007-02-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

feeling much better today. late nite last nite, up at 5am. been running around and busy all day. rehearsal dinner is tonite. dad arrives today.
oh yeah - and another disaster - carolyn broke a nail!!!! that's it the wedding is off......

YUCK

2007-02-07T16:04:00.001-08:00

sore throat, fever, going to bed.....

quite the day....

2007-02-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

this has been an emotional rollercoaster day!! i found out this morning that my aunt passed away. she was also my godmother, and my second name is the same as hers. i think she was even there when i was born. not sure when the funeral is... friday i think.
then, i got an email from a very dear friend that i have not seen in over 25 years. she is in town from Alberta and is able to come to the wedding!!! she was there when i gave my life to Christ many, many years ago. she was the one who insisted she take me to the hospital when i was having labour pains with my first baby - good thing, jenn was born only hours later!
i am so thrilled she is coming.
and then, i got an email from another dear friend wishing me the best. we shared the same journey for about nine years, but eventually life took us down different paths. it was a wonderful email. thank you.

to my cherished church family

2007-02-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

this last sunday as i was standing backstage i was overcome with emotion. i looked out over the crowd as we were all worshiping God and i realized how blessed i am to be part of this church family. for last eleven years, they have supported me: when i was first finding my confidence in being a pastor; they allowed me to spread my wings and try new things like missions trips; they shared confidences with me as we prayed together; when this very private person found her life crashing down around her they shared in the sorrow and in the grieving and then in the healing. and last year when i started spending time with Terry, they celebrated in the friendship that was developing - some of them knew what was really going on before i did!!!
so it was perfect that he would propose in front of them, my church family, so that they could share in the moment with us.
it was a very emotional sunday for me. i am grateful for such a loving church family.
and this saturday, we will say our vows before a couple of hundred family and friends.
thank you NH. for being such an awesome family of believers.... you are the best!

the closer it gets

2007-02-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

the less stressed i become. because, quite frankly, its too late to change anything now.....
the day will be what it will be.

practising

2007-02-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

Susan Kirchmayer; Mrs. Terry Kirchmayer; Susan and Terry Kirchmayer....
giggle.

have you seen....

2007-02-04T06:40:00.001-08:00

...the commercial of the stewardness who is trying to quit smoking???

moving day

2007-02-03T07:26:00.000-08:00

today is moving day - we are moving the rest of terry's stuff to the trailer (except what he needs for the next 6 days).
suddenly the trailer seems awfully small....

this is good....

2007-02-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

for some wierd reason, if i have everyone else involved in the wedding stressed out - then i feel less stressed out.....

DON'T PANIC.....

2007-02-02T07:45:00.001-08:00

the hair crisis has been averted! thanks to an awesome hairdresser.

bridezilla

2007-02-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

yup - that's what i am.... not only am i stressed, but i am stressing everyone else out too!!
i even yelled at my dogs to SHUT UP! i never yell at my dogs or tell them to shut up. (i apologised)
so i decided today that whatever happens happens..... i just want to be married.
oh yeah, had a trial makeup and hair thing - hated how i looked.
now i know why people elope.
oh yeah and did i mention that my shoes haven't arrived yet???